ARSCC Awards SP6 to Karin Spaink
a.r.s., March 19, 1996
From: email@example.com (Perry Scott)
Subject: ARSCC Awards SP6 to Karin Spaink
Date: 19 Mar 1996 22:50:05 GMT
This was forwarded to me by the Awards Subcomittee secretary.
[Actually, as a lowly SP2 assigned to party cleanup detail, I found this
beer-soaked press release under a bowl of half-eaten clam chowder. I
thought it looked important, so I scanned it in. If there are any
typos, it's due to the Prozac spattered about the room by the
EvILPsycHeZombieDRugLOrdZ Ritual of Purification.]
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
After considerable deliberation (and because we ran out of beer and fried clam strips), the ARS Central Committee, in accordance with the guidelines found at http://www.demon.co.uk/castle/fun.html, has awarded the grade of Suppressive Person, Level 6 to Karin Spaink for the
successful defense of her Fishman Affidavit web page against the litigous cult.
Karin attested to SP6 and wrote up her BIG WIN last week in another
thread, which was duly witnessed by several ARSCC Awards Subcommittee
members. Some discussion among the ARSCC-AS members centered upon
whether collecting court costs qualified for SP9, but the guidelines
clearly state that the grades of SP7 and SP8 cannot be bypassed.
When asked how she would use her rediscovered abilities, Karin replied
that she would publish a book about her ordeal. It would appear that
Karin has her eyes on SP 6.2 already.
The ARSCC-AS also considered granting yet another Clam Cluster to Dennis
Erlich's SP5 rating for his Clearwater TRO, but his current rating of SP
5.99 leaves little room for incremental improvement. Sorry, Dennis,
you'll just have to win that case to get SP 6. A new bathrobe has been
sent as a consolation prize.
ARS Central Committee
Islas Galapagos, Ecuador