From: davidson@sfsu.edu (Daniel Davidson)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: SCIENTOLOGY SUES REALITY; DEMANDS UNIVERSE
Date: 23 Aug 1995 04:07:47 GMT

 ** SCIENTOLOGY SUES REALITY; DEMANDS UNIVERSE AS SETTLEMENT **

 USP
 Dateline, Monday, August 29th 1995
 Whatastink, D.C.

	In a stunning development that sent shock waves through the
world's judicial community, Religious Technology Centre (RTC)
-- the putative holder of questionable trade secrets and copyrights 
generated by pulp fiction writer L. R. Hubbard -- filed suit at the 
World Court and the US Supreme Court against Reality for defamation,
general lack of cooperation, and back rent.

	"We have total control over matter, energy, space and time," said
Bohonk Xertsi, an RTC spokesperson. "And we have diplomas (suitable for
framing) to prove it. We also have this handsome plaque from the Newark 
Kiwanas Club, declaring us a philanthropic organization." Pulling his 
aluminum foil hat over his brow Mr. Xertsi asked, "What more proof 
could you possibly need?"

	"We are Gods, and Reality is getting in the way," continued
Mr. Xertsi. "This universe isn't big enough for both of us!"

	RTC, in a statement filed this morning, said it would drop all 
legal action against Reality if RTC was granted total control over the
entire universe.

As of press time, Reality could not be reached for comment.