From ebohlman@netcom.com Tue Jul  4 15:05:40 BST 1995

In the couple months since "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Legal 
Criminal" was posted, we haven't had any good song parodies about our 
bivalvular fr^hiends, so I decided to try my hand at one:

"Barratry"

[to the tune of Nine Inch Nails' "Heresy"]

He snapped their eyes shut / because he was afraid they'd see
He tried to tell them / all about Man's History
He's got the answers / but only when they pay the fee
He dreamed a cult up / and called it Scientology
[chorus]
Ron is dead / and no one cares
Except the little clams / they'll sue you bare
[repeat chorus]
He hired lawyers / to keep the ranks of wogs in line
He filed lawsuits / that would eat up all their time
His perfect courtroom / of stealing, cheating and Fair Game
Demands "donations" / hypocrisy done in his name
[chorus]
[repeat chorus]

Lyrics copyright 1995, Eric Bohlman.  Anyone who would want to reproduce
this knows what "fair use" is.